To the Overly Sensitive Grown Up Cry Babies

"... it is primarily parenting that decides whether the expression of sensitivity will be an reward or a source of feet." —Elaine Aron, PhD

Does your child want all the tags pulled out from her shirts? Or bask quiet play more than than large and noisy groups? Does she seem to read your mind? Or ask lots of questions? Is she incredibly perceptive, noticing all these small-scale details of life? Perhaps she has even been labeled as "shy" or "highly emotional" by someone close to her. If you answered aye to whatsoever of the to a higher place you may be raising a highly sensitive child—and yes, this is a keen thing.

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The Highly Sensitive Child

Equally a quondam highly sensitive child, I personally relate to Elaine Aron'southward description of one. She states that a "highly sensitive kid is one of the 15 to xx percent of children born with a nervous organisation that is highly aware and quick to react to everything." Such children are incredibly responsive to their environments, whether it is the lighting, sounds, smells, or overall mood of the people in their situations—these kids choice it up.

With a sharpened sense of awareness, these children are oft gifted intellectually, creatively, and emotionally, demonstrating genuine compassion at early on ages. The downside is that these intensely perceptive kids tin also get overwhelmed easily by crowds, noises, new situations, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others.

Daniel, a iv-yr-onetime client of mine, is a highly sensitive child and notoriously won't accept naps because he is too "wound up" past his preschool peers. Some other highly sensitive child, Lizzie, age 8, came home from school after seeing a bullying episode and bankrupt down crying. Criticism, defeat, and the distress of others are things sensitive children feel deeply.

A huge number of my private kid clients are highly sensitive children. Since my expertise is children's emotional health—these kids need actress intendance and feeding then that they can acquire how to run into their sensitivity as a force and begin empowering themselves with tools to tap into the "upsides" of their sensitivity, such as insight, creativity, and empathy, while simultaneously learning how to manage their rich emotional lives.

Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child

Parenting a highly sensitive child can be extremely rewarding—however, some parents admittedly observe it exhausting. For example, your son comes home from school with a scraped knee considering he roughshod off the swings. The skilful news is he doesn't think much of it. Just perhaps your other son, a highly sensitive child, fell off the swings and noticed someone laughed at him, and at present he won't stop crying because of it. See the deviation? Raising a healthy, happy and well-adjusted sensitive child is possible withal it takes "sensitive parenting skills," such equally:

• Seeing sensitivity as a gift - It'southward easy to become frustrated and angry with your son or daughter if they continually cry, withdraw and shy away from regular social situations. Instead of viewing your "sensitive" child as beingness inherently flawed, information technology is more helpful to come across your child as having a special gift. Sensitivity is typical of artistic artists, innovators, and children who are talented in various ways. Some of our great thinkers, like Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, Abraham Lincoln, and Eleanor Roosevelt are believed to have been highly sensitive.
• Partnering with the child - Sensitive children respond far ameliorate to beingness asked to do something and partnering with the adults in their life than they practice to harsh field of study. Harsh discipline tin elicit the exact behavior you lot are trying to avert, like emotional meltdowns and outbursts of energy (i.e. temper tantrums, crying, yelling). Partnering with your child includes learning their triggers (like crowds), avoiding them, and besides giving them tools when they feel overwhelmed, similar animate exercises. Professionals like me can as well exist helpful in this process.
• Focusing on strengths - Learning how to think that your highly sensitive child is an incredibly talented beingness is essential especially when he or she may be "acting out" considering of feeling overwhelmed or emotionally upset. This is seeing the forest instead of the copse. Training yourself to see your child'south strengths first—such as creativity, perceptiveness, and keen intellect—is important because it helps y'all take their challenges (i.e. highly emotional, introverted at times, picky, shy, or overly active).
• Acceptance - Embracing your child as a highly sensitive child is step ane. Many parents bring me highly sensitive children to "change" them into less sensitive, more than traditional kids, and I cannot do that. Yous cannot practise that either. Instead, you tin can accept your child's sensitivity as part of your shared journey—whether y'all yourself are highly sensitive or not.
• Creating calmness - Since highly sensitive children are majorly impacted past their home and schoolhouse environments, it is worth taking the fourth dimension to create spaces that match their blazon. Skye, one of a friend'southward girls, is highly sensitive and loves her "Peace Corner" at home where she relaxes with her headphones, favorite plush toys, and markers to feel calm. It is this type of serenity that highly sensitive children crave, with but the right lighting, colors, sounds, and environs.
• Gentle subject area - Because your child is highly sensitive doesn't mean they don't demand structure and limits in their life. They admittedly do. Being able to requite your kid gentle structure and clear limits with respect goes a long style. For example, if it's Jenna'southward bedtime and she is resisting, yous might say, "Sweetheart, I realize you desire to play all dark, but it'due south time for bed. You need your balance and we take agreed to the eight p.thou. bedtime, and it'due south 8 p.m.—delight showtime getting ready for bed."
• Connecting - Highly sensitive children are fatigued to "birds of a feather," and getting these kids together to nurture each other's strengths is a adept thing. This may hateful a niggling extra effort on a parent'southward behalf to help a child make playdates and find other kids who play well with your highly sensitive child.

Conclusion

Being a highly sensitive adult may exist helpful in understanding your kid's temperament and particular needs. It is peculiarly helpful if a highly sensitive kid is born to a well-adapted, salubrious, sensitive developed who can steer them in the correct emotional direction. Of course, that tin be true of whatever child—sensitive children, though, need particularly good role models because they are learning how to apply their incredible gift in a world that sometimes doesn't value its inherent worth.

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/201106/the-highly-sensitive-child

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